Pets

As you well know already, and even if you don’t, I have a dog. I have posted about him previously. Unlike most dog owners I do not talk baby talk to my dog, never have, and never will. And if you do, please stop. You sound like an idiot and I’m sure that your dog thinks so as well. What you need to realize is the fact that your dog is not a dumb animal. Get that through your head right away and your relationship with them will blossom exponentially.

Like your children, your dog is a product of its upbringing. If your children are stupid idiots that pee on the carpet then that’s your fault for not teaching them better. It’s not society’s issue. Why would you unleash an unprepared individual upon the world without proper training to run amok and let others endure your lack of commitment? You see where this dog metaphor is going right?

          Like I stated earlier, people, just like animals, are a product of their upbringing plain and simple. Yes all animals, including humans have a varied array of ingrained instincts. Yet humans as a species seem to retain the least of these so called ingrained instincts.  Dogs do just fine. It seems to me that it’s the weaker minded people who can’t handle the fact that the dog needs to indulge in these said instincts. Like running in the woods from time to time.

Hint: Your dog needs to get out and run every so often whether you feel like it or not. Just like your child needs to get to soccer, hockey, football, or whatever practice or game, your dog needs to run. Plain and simple. So pry your fat ass off of the couch, put down the cheesies and take your dog out for a run. Lord knows you could use the exercise as well.

Admitting that your dog is smarter than you is a huge step. Mine is. He’s a remarkably intelligent being. It’s not a giant leap in the evolutionary chart by any means so you shouldn’t feel threatened in any way whatsoever. There is always going to be something out there that’s smarter than you. Let it go. It’s not your dog’s fault for being smart. It certainly isn’t yours either so just consider it a blessing that you have a smart dog.  

Blame your parents for all of this crap. Just as you feel that you raised a stupid dog, blame them for the same reason that they raised a stupid person who should never own a dog. Your parents taught you how to cope with life, now you, in turn, pass these lessons on to your pets, and children. If you don’t have the patience for something like a dog why do you feel that you would be good with children?

I love to brag about my dog, as all good dog owners do. My dog is special to me, no-one else. Its’ not that he’s better than your dog, or calmer than your dog, or friendlier than your dog, or more playful than your dog. Let me correct myself here. I do have to say that my dog is friendlier than just about every other dog out there. It seems to be his mission in life to say hello and play with every other, not just dog, but rabbit, cat, goose, duck, cow, snake, mouse, goat, human, and crow that he encounters. And not in that order.

I am by no means an expert dog trainer, nor do I attempt in any way to proclaim dog training superiority in any way whatsoever. It’s just that I have owned a number of dogs over the course of my, what seems to be, rather long existence, that I reflect on this experience. There seems to be too many inpatient people these days with regards to animal ownership. Pets need to be regarded differently. They are not toys but members of the family. Treat them as such. And if you find yourself incapable, By all means possible, refrain from procreation.  

Save the world in your own weird way.

 Please.