I had an entirely different subject to
write about today, but something occurred late this afternoon that I just couldn’t
pass up this opportunity to share it with you while it was still fresh in my
mind.
Whether you want me to or not, I’m
going to give you the lead up to what got us to that point in the first place.
Don’t know about you guys, but I like to know the details of what is going on.
A quality that seems to be lacking with a lot of people these days. But I
digress.
As you may or may not know, my dog
Mike and I (Mike The Wonderdog to his following on Facebook), tend to go hiking
on a regular basis. On day like today, where the heat and humidity are a
factor, we go to the beach where he can cool off with a good swim. I go in the
water on occasion but not as often as Mike. He truly is a water dog and fully
enjoys every minute of it. I always tell people that if there was a puddle the
size of a quarter, he would find it and lay down in it. And he has.
One of the things Mike also enjoys is
a soft serve ice cream cone from McDonald's on a hot day. So after about two
hours of swimming and playing at the beach I figured we should run up to the
drive thru and get the boy a cone. I tend to not eat McDonald's food for my own
digestive reasons, but Mike likes the chicken nuggets and will only eat the
fries if there’s ketchup. But today it was all about him, and the only thing I
ordered was his cone. Some days it’s all about Mike.
You may be wondering why I just didn’t
go in and get it myself, it would have been quicker, right? He likes the drive
thru and peering back into the window at the staff, who always say hi and pet
him. He just has to say hello to everyone. Also, people here are moronic when
it comes to dogs in cars, even when there is no need to be. But make sure you
get it on video and post it online though!
Back to the story. I pull into the
drive thru and it’s one of those multi feeder drive thru thingy’s. You know the
ones where there are two lanes to take the orders but then merge into one lane
after the menu board and onto the payment window? Yup, one of those. So I
order, pull forward to my place in line behind the other merging customer who
had obviously ordered before me. I can’t pull ahead very far due to the line
not moving very much. First come first served right? That’s usually how it
works until you get one of these in a hurry types where other people are just
in the way.
I’m on the inside lane waiting to merge and I see, and
hear, another vehicle pull up to order in the outside lane. I can’t see them
because of the menu board separating the lanes. As soon as he’s finished
ordering, he pulls around in front of me and blocks my path. I give the
standard gesture of the upturned hands in the air as if to say “what the fuck
asshole?” when he gives me the usual head bob meaning “what’s your problem?”.
With both vehicles windows rolled down, I said “I was here before you”. To
which he replies, “No, I just ordered”. I think I gave him a peculiar look but
explained that I had ordered before him and was waiting in line. He then
returned comment by stating, “No. Anyways, I don’t care”. My reply was very clear when I stated, “You go
ahead. You’re obviously in a bigger hurry than me Shitforbrains”. He said nothing
but stared straight ahead.
We
waited for the line to advance, which took a couple of minutes, before it moved
forward. Mr. Knumbnuts just sits there, but doesn’t advance for about twenty
seconds. WTF right? He then turns his head towards me and says, “Well, go
ahead”. I returned with, “You’re in the way MORON”. So he proceeded to the first window with what
I thought to be a smirk on his face. He paid for his purchase and advanced to
the second window to pick up his order. This is where it starts to get good.
I then see an arm reach out the window, and in a
smooth sweeping motion, directing him over to the “please wait over there while
we fill your order and someone will bring it to you shortly” parking spot of
purgatory. I have to admit that a grin may have occupied my face for a second
or three. But that’s not even the best part.
So I then proceed to pay, and accept my soft serve
cone, and advance to the parking lot where I pull into an out of the way spot
so Mike can enjoy his treat. I may have slipped old Knumbnuts a shit eating
grin on the way by, but I can’t be sure.
Needless to say, Mike enjoyed his ice cream immensely,
as he always does, and was even able to get a little bit on me. How does that even
happen? I wasn’t even eating ice cream. I’m not sure how long it took for him to
finish it but, after I wiped myself, wiped Mikes mouth, cleaned my hands,
checked for drippage on the seats, gathered the garbage, walked over to the receptacle
and disposed of the shrapnel, and walked back, guess who was just pulling out
of his parking spot to leave with his much awaited order? Yup. He waited that
whole time.
I really wanted to wave but held it back and just
smiled. He looked at me briefly and then sped out of the parking lot. Ha!
Sometimes it takes care of itself.
