I have been struggling lately
over whether my last remaining shoestring of hope for humanity is all in vain.
Are we all doomed to inevitably go swirling clockwise, counter-clockwise in Australia
My rapidly fading belief is based purely on a demographic
principle which is easily orated through an example that I heard a number of
years ago and stuck with me, and goes like this. “The bigger the village, the
more idiots there are to keep an eye on”. True enough yet I feel I should
expand on that just a little as my own perception has been forced to do so by,
well…idiots.
Picture yourself in a large room with ten people. One of
them is a fucking idiot. They’re rather easy to point out in such a small group
of people. It’s always good in these types of scenarios to have a friend you
can elbow inconspicuously and say “Do you see that fucking idiot?” Like the old
joke says, if you can’t spot the idiot in the room then it must be you. Let’s
expand on this as well. Unless…you are truly an idiot, there just may be a
bigger one in the room. But let’s get back on topic shall we?
We’ll stick with a ten percent factor for no other reason
than the math is easier and put one hundred people in the same room. This is
where perception would indicate that there are more stupid people present. That
would be correct. As they go about bumping into walls all the while loudly
expressing thing similar too…”Dude, that was so not photo shopped”, “Like, really,
it’s true. I heard it from a friend of a friend of mine” and “I speak fluent
American”, it would appear they are everywhere and you are being overtaken. But
the percentage is the same, so demographically there are the same amount of
morons being pointed at by others elbowing there buddies. You can breathe easy,
from this fictional example at least.
More and more I seem to be crossing paths with an ever
increasing number of Darwin
The new questions to which answers still elude me are thus.
Are these shitheads truly that moronic in their thought process? Are they just
dumb enough to think that the rest of us are the dupes that will fall for the
half baked fool proof ideas they follow through with?
An example of this is taken right from local news
broadcasts regarding a multiple robbery suspect. Now don’t send me complaints
about getting the facts wrong because I’m relying on memory for this one. For
all you know I’m an idiot.
The suspect entered a food establishment situated in the center
and street front area of a local mall then presented a knife with the usual
demands of money. To make a long story short, he was given the cash and went on
his way. You would think that this was it but noooo. Upon exiting this location
he then made his way east to the far end of the mall, promptly changed his
t-shirt to one of a different colour and entered the grocery store where the
same demands were made with a like result. Please don’t make me explain the
reason for the shirt change. It should be evident to all non morons at this
point.
While feeling, what one could only assume as being “on a
roll”, our Rhodes Scholar decided to continue to the far west end of said mall,
once again changing his shirt, then managed to extort money from the local
discount store as well. After exiting, he once again swapped out his garment
for one of another colour. And this is where it gets even more interesting.
Whether our master of disguise failed to consider the fact
that the initial establishment would have phoned the police to deal with this
instance and were on alert for a person at large, or take into account that
enough time had passed that the local authorities were already on the scene of
the first two locations is unclear. It’s not like the cops had to wait in the
drive thru lane to gather evidence. Regardless, this genius felt confident
enough in his new unseen colour of t-shirt to stroll casually across the mall
parking lot in an almost direct intersecting path of the first robbery. Imagine
his surprise when they pointed him out because they recognized his face.
Because we all know that during a robbery everyone focuses directly on your
shirt right?
I
fear for our continued dominance of the food chain.
On
an unrelated note and the opposite end of the spectrum, I feel the urge to
share this with you. I have a friend with a University Degree in Communications.
This is an intelligent individual to say the least. Yet in an attempt to catch
up with me after couple of months of silence on both of our parts, I received a
text which simply said:
“Sup?”
