I’ve
been looking at things a little bit differently lately. Maybe not completely
different, but revisiting a previous thought process of late. You see, there
was a time, not so long ago where I was able to re-evaluate my personal circumstance
in an effort to figure out what the hell I wanted to do with my life. Yup, I’m
there…again. Go figure. It’s like Déjà vu all over again.
Having the ability to do anything
you want to, with no real ties to anything or anyone, can be rather liberating.
That being said, not knowing what you want to do is like being Royalty in
exile. Having all of the drive, ability, and want is excruciating without a
direction to go in. I do have options, don’t get me wrong here.
The last time
this happened I found myself becoming a factory trained Harley Davidson
Technician. PHD Service certified (Preferred Harley Davidson Service). And, not
to toot my own horn too much, I was really good at it. I also enjoyed it immensely.
Going back to that would be a major uproot and relocate to a different city. I’m
not opposed to that, however, it’s not my first choice. It has been almost seven
years since I’ve done that for a living, but I really don’t know if I want to
go backwards. Moving forward to new things just feels right. But to what?
I
have eliminated the majority of the toxic people from my life with only a few
more to deal with. I’ve also lost some others that meant a lot to me, and yet
here I am. Still going strong, so to speak.
Like a lot of
people, I’ve had my fair share of hurdles to overcome these last few years or
so. With the whole relationship dissolving, moving to a new residence, just me
and the Wonderdog, new job…again, and the whole Cancer thing about four and a
half years ago. I didn’t have an epiphany, like some folks seem to, about how
things will be different from now on and then throw myself into a bunch of
activities. More to the truth, I had a realization of what I didn’t want to put
up with anymore. Believe me, that list is extensive. But it’s getting shorter. But
also, not easy. A work in progress none the less.
Lately I seem
to be growing stagnant mentally. Like a hamster on a wheel. A ton of effort and
activity going on but actually getting nowhere. It really is time for me to
stop spinning in place and get on with this.
I am by no
means depressed about this current situation, let me make this very clear. I
have just not decided on a direction. I do know that the first things I need to
do is sort out a bunch of things that I’ve put off since the move last
November. Time to liquidate and downsize. I need to rid myself of some of the
things I was keeping in storage because of previous plans. Those plans have
changed dramatically and these things are no longer needed. Let the games
begin.
I owe it to
my dog to do and be better and a new list has already been started. The Bucket
List has five items so far. Stay tuned.
Wish me luck.
