I am
currently having one of those nights where, no matter what I seem to do, no
matter what position that I’m in, no matter how many blankets I have, if any at
all, I cannot get comfortable enough to fall asleep. I have been flopping about
in bed like a fish out of water for over three hours now. It has gotten to the
point where it’s become so annoying that I have quite literally frustrated
myself awake. The bigger irritation is the fact that, prior to going to bed, I was
practically falling asleep sitting up watching television. And not even to a
boring show. This is not the first time this has happened recently, nor will it
be the last.
The best way
to describe things lately is to say that my brain has been occupied elsewhere quite
regularly. Back to the old hamster wheel it seems. A whole bunch of effort and energy
spent on getting nowhere fast.
I have plenty
that I can and should be doing and am fully aware of this. Yet I’m scattered. My
days are fully occupied, or so it seems, but not to a productive result. I sat
back today and looked around at things and realized that this place has the
makings of a perfect disaster area. There are multiple projects in the making
that are in such assorted states of incompletion that it has me scratching my
head and wondering where do I start in order to finish all of this.
Starting to
finish is the key here. I’ve been so disseminated that I have entirely
forgotten about a couple of things, only to realize that I completely missed a
submission deadline for one of them. Such a dumbass move on my part.
I do feel
better about a lot of other things though. For one, I’m no longer working for
the idiot that was the cause of my day to day stress level being off the chart.
This is one of the major things within my power to change. It boils down to
what I am willing to put up with and it seems that my tolerance for idiots is
becoming less and less with age. Maybe it’s because there are more and more
idiots crawling out from under rocks these days. Maybe it’s just me, and I can
live with that.
One of my favorite sayings for things
like this, and I have told it to a few of my superiors over the years, is that,
I need A job. I don’t need THIS job. It has been met with an assortment of
reactions. All of which I find comical regardless of their response. Feel free
to use it. It will indeed provoke a response.
Having the
time to do some of the things that I want to accomplish is a refreshing change
for sure. I just have to stop being an idiot about it and focus my efforts
productively.
Stay tuned
