Everybody seems to have that one
friend who is more than eager to offer less than sage advice on how you should
manage your dating status now that you are no longer “involved” in a
relationship. This “friend” is the one who tends to be single the majority of
the time regardless of the justifiable reason or whose fault it was at the time.
You know exactly who I mean and are picturing them right now aren’t you?
Allow me to preface this by
stating that, yes I am single now, have been for over a year, am enjoying my
situation, and was not looking for, well, anyone. My dog and I get along
tremendously. Yet that did not deter this self-proclaimed expert from offering unsolicited
input as to how I was doing it wrong. Go figure. Imagine my surprise. The funny
thing about this, is the fact that I indulged these musings as a curiosity, at
first. Then after a few adult beverages, it all started to sound reasonable. Again,
go figure. Indulge me would you?
He started professing the attributes
of this App that he had installed on his phone called Tinder. Yes I had heard
of it because I’m not living under a rock. I’ve just never used it let alone
given it any thought. Let’s just say I was given the “Coles Notes” version of
how it works by him and ran with that.
He convinced me to create a
profile and, much to my chagrin, I did. I was then exposed to an array of
available women within my specified parameters, and geographic area, that I never
knew existed. Quelle surprise oui? What a wonderful thing to have at your
fingertips. This entire world that I was oblivious to, until you actually start
reading some of the bios, and start picking out the fabricated ones. FAKE NEWS.
And there are plenty. This is where it became fun.
If you are actually that
photogenic sweetheart, then you are a model and men flock to you and drool
doing so. You do not need this website. Someone is using your pictures for dick
bait plain and simple. There seems to be a lot of models on this site looking
for real men. I’M RIGHT HERE!!!! Said every man ever.
Before I continue I have a couple
of questions that I will address shortly. I’m talking to the women on this
site, which is known as a “hook-up” site, as to their criteria for what they
are looking for. Seeing as we are all adults here I would like to point out
that there are a lot of women on Tinder that are actually looking for a
relationship and not just a slap and tickle, or so I’m told lol. I focused on
this aspect and not the slap and tickle part. I must say that there is an
abundance of legitimate people looking for legitimate people, which I found
refreshing.
Getting back to the demands of
what some of these women were looking for was surprising to say the least. Remember
that part before about the fake profiles? Well, the gold-diggers are even more
obvious and just as laughable. Now that I think of it, more laughable because
they are overly obvious with their “requirements”. Like the stay at home mom
who aspires to:
“Travel to exotic locations regularly,
and am looking for an independent, established male, no less than 5 foot 10
inches tall, no older than 52, with no facial hair, who is fit and works out
regularly, with no children, never married, is financially stable, with no
baggage or drama, to accept my 5 year old son as his own and create a loving future
together. Not looking for hook-ups or one night stands”. Seriously?
If you recognize this profile,
please do not send me a message. I’ve obviously seen it. And had a hearty belly
laugh with my friends.
Are you actually for real? Do you
think that a man intelligent and successful enough to fall within the
parameters of this want list is dumb enough to fall for your filtered photos,
and is quite literally saying to himself, “Holy crap, I meet her criteria. She’s
looking for me. This must be my lucky day”? No. He’s going to run like hell
away from you as fast as humanly possible. Give your head a shake. What planet
is this again?
Why people put pictures of their kids on their
profiles on this site is beyond me. Have you not heard of pedophile stockers
dumbass?
Here’s a nickels worth of free
advice sweetheart. If you were such a catch yourself, why are you not listing
your attributes and not your demands? At the very least be honest, if to nobody
but yourself. Why are you here on this site?
I must say, and in no derogatory
way to anyone whatsoever, that I like the situation that I’m in. I could
probably use an encouraging nudge every once in a while, but I don’t feel that I
“need” someone to complete my life or me, and I’m good with that. If I happen
to meet that particular person that I “want” to share things with, then all the
better. I openly welcome that opportunity.
I feel that needing someone in my
life and wanting someone in my life are two very different things.
To me, needing someone suggests
that my life is lacking and am looking for them to fill a void. I can do pretty
much everything for myself and then some. I’ve been fully domesticated for a
long time now. I don’t “need” anyone in my life in order for me and my dog to
get by. Not derogatory, just the truth.
Having that special person next
to you during an event that you can give an elbow-nudge to, point at someone, and
share a chuckle when you say “can you believe that asshole” at a gathering of
friends is a wanting.
The epitome of want, to me, is the
desire to share something with someone who wants to share it with you.
