Thank You

          I would like to thank everyone for taking the time to read my very own verbal spewings. I really do appreciate you taking time from your busy day to consider my insignificant observations.

          After all it is only one opinion within a vast sea of opinionated stupidity that this world has become. Just look at the Kardashians for Christ sake. What the fuck have they done for the world? Sorry, I will never speak of them again. I promise.

          As I was saying, I would like to not just thank you all, but offer an opportunity to chime in on this blog. I have opened the comments section so that you can post as anonymous if you feel so inclined.

          I would very much like that you did so…please

          All that I ask is that you post 2 things in the comment section please.

          1: First name only

          2: Country you live in

          This means nothing to anyone but me. I would just like people who read my blog that would not normally chime in with a comment. I would very much like to hear from you and know where you are.

          Thank you for being there for me.

Pets

As you well know already, and even if you don’t, I have a dog. I have posted about him previously. Unlike most dog owners I do not talk baby talk to my dog, never have, and never will. And if you do, please stop. You sound like an idiot and I’m sure that your dog thinks so as well. What you need to realize is the fact that your dog is not a dumb animal. Get that through your head right away and your relationship with them will blossom exponentially.

Like your children, your dog is a product of its upbringing. If your children are stupid idiots that pee on the carpet then that’s your fault for not teaching them better. It’s not society’s issue. Why would you unleash an unprepared individual upon the world without proper training to run amok and let others endure your lack of commitment? You see where this dog metaphor is going right?

          Like I stated earlier, people, just like animals, are a product of their upbringing plain and simple. Yes all animals, including humans have a varied array of ingrained instincts. Yet humans as a species seem to retain the least of these so called ingrained instincts.  Dogs do just fine. It seems to me that it’s the weaker minded people who can’t handle the fact that the dog needs to indulge in these said instincts. Like running in the woods from time to time.

Hint: Your dog needs to get out and run every so often whether you feel like it or not. Just like your child needs to get to soccer, hockey, football, or whatever practice or game, your dog needs to run. Plain and simple. So pry your fat ass off of the couch, put down the cheesies and take your dog out for a run. Lord knows you could use the exercise as well.

Admitting that your dog is smarter than you is a huge step. Mine is. He’s a remarkably intelligent being. It’s not a giant leap in the evolutionary chart by any means so you shouldn’t feel threatened in any way whatsoever. There is always going to be something out there that’s smarter than you. Let it go. It’s not your dog’s fault for being smart. It certainly isn’t yours either so just consider it a blessing that you have a smart dog.  

Blame your parents for all of this crap. Just as you feel that you raised a stupid dog, blame them for the same reason that they raised a stupid person who should never own a dog. Your parents taught you how to cope with life, now you, in turn, pass these lessons on to your pets, and children. If you don’t have the patience for something like a dog why do you feel that you would be good with children?

I love to brag about my dog, as all good dog owners do. My dog is special to me, no-one else. Its’ not that he’s better than your dog, or calmer than your dog, or friendlier than your dog, or more playful than your dog. Let me correct myself here. I do have to say that my dog is friendlier than just about every other dog out there. It seems to be his mission in life to say hello and play with every other, not just dog, but rabbit, cat, goose, duck, cow, snake, mouse, goat, human, and crow that he encounters. And not in that order.

I am by no means an expert dog trainer, nor do I attempt in any way to proclaim dog training superiority in any way whatsoever. It’s just that I have owned a number of dogs over the course of my, what seems to be, rather long existence, that I reflect on this experience. There seems to be too many inpatient people these days with regards to animal ownership. Pets need to be regarded differently. They are not toys but members of the family. Treat them as such. And if you find yourself incapable, By all means possible, refrain from procreation.  

Save the world in your own weird way.

 Please.

Giving

Such a response to the last entry that I thought maybe I should put another out there for you all eh? (Canadian thing eh!) My friends get it.

I received a phone call from my wife the other day, which is not unusual in itself, but the subject of this one was. It wasn’t the standard “how are things? What are you guys up to?” kind of conversation. And buy “guys” she means myself and our dog. I spend a lot of time with our dog. More than most people including my wife come to think about it. Not intentionally from her but intentionally from most people. Good thing she doesn’t read my blog lol. Just in case…love you sweetheart.

She began telling me of a co-worker who’s mother-in-law had suffered a stroke recently (wow that’s a lot of hyphens in a row) and was wondering if we could help out. My wife being the person she is, that I would never change in any way whatsoever by the way, agreed to help immediately without getting any further information. Oh yeah, just like that. Whatever was needed we would surely do our best to provide or at the very least help with. You notice that “her” response was “we” right? That includes me by proxy. Which mostly I don’t mind. But in this case I felt privileged to be included. That’s the perspective potion of our program this evening. Thank God she’s not a vegetarian.

As it turns out my wife’s co-workers mother-in law loves dogs (that sounds so unintentionally hillbilly). And as it turns out, we have a wonderful dog. Go figure. Hence the reason for the phone call.

I failed to mention that the aforementioned person of topic resides in an assisted care facility. A rather sweet elder woman from a long forgotten era where the simplest of things can bring the greatest enjoyment to an open mind.

Remember the part about us having a dog? As it turns out, what she wanted to experience was to be able to watch a truly happy dog playing in the park that she could view out of the third floor vantage point that she frequented. My wife’s co-worker, having met our dog on numerous occasions, considered us, or should I say, considered our dog right away.

The only question for me that remained was…when? “Of course” were the first two words out of my mouth. Considering the nature of the request this was one of those times where today, even, right now was not out of the question. I can play with my dog anywhere and pretty much do, but if it will bring joy to someone just to be able to watch that, count me in. I’m sure my dog would agree.

So we loaded up, so to speak, and ventured to the designated park slash vantage point. I brought all of the favorite toys too. Not just the ball to throw for him to fetch, noooo. I brought the ball flinger, the kick-fetch ball, the football, and the ever so popular and most exciting, which is always saved for last…the frisby. That’s right…we have a frisby dog. To be honest, he’s getting much better at it.

The point is that I don’t think I have seen such pleasure from a facial expression in a very long time. The simple act of playing with my dog within deliberate view of someone who truly enjoyed watching it blew me away. I feel very fortunate to have been able to do this. I told my wife to let them know if they ever wanted me to do it again, please do not hesitate. Actually, please do call again.

It was my pleasure and thank you for allowing me to do this.

Merry Christmas everyone.

O.M.G

Everyone at some point or time in their life has had a “Holy Shit” moment of one kind or another. Possibly many. I mean the kind of experience that truly is worthy of a “Holy Shit” and not just an afterthought. The type of experience when you unknowingly expel the words aloud. Not just a passing thought in your head kind of “holy shit” type of experience either. It’s so much of a shock and surprise that the “HOLY SHIT” words are blurted so quickly that you slap your palm across your mouth and nervously scan the proximity for offended earshot recipients and/or other like-minded mouth palm slappers. Your findings are your own. What happens in….yeah, yeah, stays in the blah blah blah, you know the rest.

Most of the time, but not always, it’s not the event that becomes so memorable but the people that you experience within said event that make it so.

Not to detract from the original occurrence, but to expand upon it. No matter how trained or untrained your eye may be, the original event is still the true” Holy Shit” here. After all it was the cause of the entire, for lack of a better word, scene, incident, blessing, necessity, horror, misfortune, success, fluke, or haphazard that caused it all to begin with. I’ll stop now before this gets out of hand. Feel free to add your own antonym, synonym, or even an expletive that you may deem fitting.

No really. Add your own. Do it. I dare you. Either post them in the comment section or voice them aloud for all within earshot to hear. Then try to explain to the earshot recipients why you are doing so using only one sentence, no matter how long it becomes. Then post that.

Getting back to the point, we’ve all had these kind of, whelming experiences that tend to cause us to react in an unexpected, involuntary, and reactionary fashion. They are a shock and surprise to say the least but are far from being over-whelming. See what I did there? Smooth right?

Well I had one of these kinds of things, phenomenon, circumstance, episodes, matters, goings-on, milestones, scenes happen to me lately. And if I didn’t spend so much time building up, explaining, clarifying, rendering, illustrating, explicating, manifesting, and resolving things I could have spent a bit more time actually telling you about it.

I will soon. I promise. I really did a “HOLY SHIT” out loud. Honest.