New Tools

Buying new tools is a thrilling experience for most men. The excitement builds before I even leave the house. Buying new tools on sale is almost orgasmic. This is the best thing ever. And yes ladies, it happens to us with every tool purchase. One piece of very important advice is to always check out the latest store flyers. I refer you to a previous blog entry regarding finding something on sale after the fact. Not fun.

The thrill of walking through the tool section of my favourite hardware type of store brings an inner feeling that can only be described as a warm glow. Yes really. Walking up and down the various aisles of hand tools, power tools, tool boxes, accessories and the ever popular “clearance” section is an excitement all in itself. I just like to see if there is anything new, different or even an in store special not listed in the flyer. Those are the best finds.

I don’t go directly to the item that I came here for, oh no. I take my time making my way around, while savouring the entire atmosphere of this section of the store. It even smells different over here. I almost always find something else that I didn’t know that I needed until I saw it. It’s mood dependant really. I can’t seem to leave the store with only what I came for. There is a support group for this type of behaviour. Usually a small group of similarly affected individuals gather together on weekends at a well publicized location where they discuss such tools and build, assemble, repair and create stuff with them. There may also be beer involved. Or so I’ve heard.

While driving home with my purchase safely beside me I repeatedly glance at the box and envision the multitude of things I can accomplish with this newly found equipment, when it hits me. That table we acquired the other day needs to be assembled properly. Let’s call that job number one.

Arriving home I take my new cordless necessities from the packaging and begin the narration to my wife about all of its advanced features and how this is going to make ease of all the little jobs, not just around the house but everywhere. She tends to roll her eyes when I drift into tool speak.

Now pumped full of ambition I spy the table, clear the needed space around it, gather the bolts, load the appropriate bits into the driver, assemble the pieces loosely and begin the power tool assembly. This part takes little more than about twenty seconds to complete. Now we stand back and admire the job well done. I do anyway.

The tool rush now slowly drains from me because I now realize that my new tool playtime has ended way too soon. I just stand there pulling the trigger repeatedly while looking around the room.

What else can I fix?