Bike This

          No matter how many notes I scribble, no matter how many reminders I make, no matter how many directions I go, I seem to miss some of the points that I thought were important enough to try to remember. All of that has led me to this point. Are you ready?

          Let me just dive right in head first and say that I’m all for being active, getting exercise, picking your fat ass off of the couch and being mobile. Participaction is what they used to call it where I come from, with Joanne, what’s her face and Hal, not memorable enough to remember. But the point was all about being active and having fun doing it.

          Fast forward to the now reality and take a look at things like cycling, or bicycling, as some call it. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m all for being active and staying in shape. I even own a bicycle. It’s all a good thing, but...

          Some of you cyclists seem to have forgotten the general rules of the road. No I’m not out on a mission to chastise all people that choose to ride their bike for exercise, but only the militant few that think that the road was made for them. I would like to remind those folks of some forgotten legalities.

          Stop signs matter. Almost sounds like a potential protest rally. If you want to be considered a vehicle, you need to obey the rules. No matter how goofy you think you look, arm signals help. Drivers discern where you are going, duh. You may be well aware of that fact, but the people behind you are not. Do you actually drive your car in that frame of mind? If so, please send me pictures of all of the dents in your vehicle that you have blamed on other people.

          You have an inherent responsibility to NOT be a hazard to traffic. Yes you heard me right. The cars need to be cars and travel along the road. They can easily avoid you when they can, and you can all go about your day.

          When you choose to ride your bike on a major thoroughfare, that is lane reduced due to construction, while you're avoiding the water drainage receptacles (weaving around the sewers), you really don’t seem to have the right to complain about the lack of space you are given, dumbass.

          Just because you can, does not necessarily mean that you should.

Are You For Real?

          It seems that we are now living in an era of the scammer and the con artist. The daily attitude of the general population is becoming more and more based on what we can get away with rather than what we can accomplish. Although I could point fingers at the millennials and the like, but it’s not just the younger members of our society. Although they may very well have started it, and seem to be leading the charge, it’s not just them. This lack of care and concern for other people and other people’s property appears to be being passed UP as I see more and more mature (in age) people adopting this practice. Take advantage, and see if you get caught.

          Do not misread what I’m attempting to say hear. I’m certainly not about to point fingers and blame any particular generation for the escalation in this trend. Although a valid argument could easily be compiled. A lack of significant consequence certainly does play a major role in this as well.

          I guess I’ve noticed this more now that I’m actually looking into something and have found more scams than legitimate information and websites. Here’s the skinny.

I’m looking into having my dog certified as a Therapy Service Dog. You know the kind that you bring for a visit to the sick kid’s hospital old the old age home as a comfort to the people there. There is a required amount of training that the dog and owner must partake in, which is to be expected.

It turns out that there are more scam websites than real ones. All I have to do is pay the cost, around $100.00, and they in return, would mail me the certificate, an ID card to fit in the service dog vest, a wallet card, and a patch. The service Dog vest can be obtained (wait for it) at an extra cost. Why of course it can.

I’m gonna go the legit route. I know that my dog can be of a great assistance to those that need the comfort of a loving animal. And there is no better feeling.

In keeping with the scam artist topic, I wonder if the same sort of thing happens with the handicapped parking permits. Yes, the ones that are displayed in the front window of the vehicle so that the disabled person driving can use the designated spaces reserved for them. Usually the ones conveniently located closest to the entrance way.

I know at times everyone has witnessed a person with one of these permits in their windshield, park their car, step out of their car, and you give them the once over looking to see if they are truly handicapped. You have so. Don’t even try to deny this one. We all look for the cane, the crutch, the limp, the missing appendage, or whatever. Yes you do.

I say this only because I came across, not too long ago, a van parked in the handicapped area. This was not a minivan nor a van with windows. This was a full size contractor van with a ladder on top and the person’s name painted on the side Also painted there were an assortment of tasks the he could perform like dry walling, decks, windows, bathrooms, shingles, and the like. All of this with a handicapped permit in the window.

Now these are all pretty physical jobs to perform even as an able bodied person. Very demanding and sometimes repetitious activities to boot. So my mind went for a stroll and began questioning the application process and eligibility criteria to obtain these types of permits. That’s when the driver returned to his vehicle.

No, I didn’t say anything. However, other than being old, he seemed rather able bodied. No cane, no limp, all appendages intact and stuff. So that’s when I started thinking, and then asked myself.

So what is the handicap here? It must not be physical but mental, because the idiot took up two parking spaces.

Witnessing Kharma

          I had an entirely different subject to write about today, but something occurred late this afternoon that I just couldn’t pass up this opportunity to share it with you while it was still fresh in my mind.

          Whether you want me to or not, I’m going to give you the lead up to what got us to that point in the first place. Don’t know about you guys, but I like to know the details of what is going on. A quality that seems to be lacking with a lot of people these days. But I digress.

          As you may or may not know, my dog Mike and I (Mike The Wonderdog to his following on Facebook), tend to go hiking on a regular basis. On day like today, where the heat and humidity are a factor, we go to the beach where he can cool off with a good swim. I go in the water on occasion but not as often as Mike. He truly is a water dog and fully enjoys every minute of it. I always tell people that if there was a puddle the size of a quarter, he would find it and lay down in it. And he has.

          One of the things Mike also enjoys is a soft serve ice cream cone from McDonald's on a hot day. So after about two hours of swimming and playing at the beach I figured we should run up to the drive thru and get the boy a cone. I tend to not eat McDonald's food for my own digestive reasons, but Mike likes the chicken nuggets and will only eat the fries if there’s ketchup. But today it was all about him, and the only thing I ordered was his cone. Some days it’s all about Mike.

          You may be wondering why I just didn’t go in and get it myself, it would have been quicker, right? He likes the drive thru and peering back into the window at the staff, who always say hi and pet him. He just has to say hello to everyone. Also, people here are moronic when it comes to dogs in cars, even when there is no need to be. But make sure you get it on video and post it online though!

          Back to the story. I pull into the drive thru and it’s one of those multi feeder drive thru thingy’s. You know the ones where there are two lanes to take the orders but then merge into one lane after the menu board and onto the payment window? Yup, one of those. So I order, pull forward to my place in line behind the other merging customer who had obviously ordered before me. I can’t pull ahead very far due to the line not moving very much. First come first served right? That’s usually how it works until you get one of these in a hurry types where other people are just in the way.

I’m on the inside lane waiting to merge and I see, and hear, another vehicle pull up to order in the outside lane. I can’t see them because of the menu board separating the lanes. As soon as he’s finished ordering, he pulls around in front of me and blocks my path. I give the standard gesture of the upturned hands in the air as if to say “what the fuck asshole?” when he gives me the usual head bob meaning “what’s your problem?”. With both vehicles windows rolled down, I said “I was here before you”. To which he replies, “No, I just ordered”. I think I gave him a peculiar look but explained that I had ordered before him and was waiting in line. He then returned comment by stating, “No. Anyways, I don’t care”.  My reply was very clear when I stated, “You go ahead. You’re obviously in a bigger hurry than me Shitforbrains”. He said nothing but stared straight ahead.

          We waited for the line to advance, which took a couple of minutes, before it moved forward. Mr. Knumbnuts just sits there, but doesn’t advance for about twenty seconds. WTF right? He then turns his head towards me and says, “Well, go ahead”. I returned with, “You’re in the way MORON”.  So he proceeded to the first window with what I thought to be a smirk on his face. He paid for his purchase and advanced to the second window to pick up his order. This is where it starts to get good.

I then see an arm reach out the window, and in a smooth sweeping motion, directing him over to the “please wait over there while we fill your order and someone will bring it to you shortly” parking spot of purgatory. I have to admit that a grin may have occupied my face for a second or three. But that’s not even the best part.

So I then proceed to pay, and accept my soft serve cone, and advance to the parking lot where I pull into an out of the way spot so Mike can enjoy his treat. I may have slipped old Knumbnuts a shit eating grin on the way by, but I can’t be sure.

Needless to say, Mike enjoyed his ice cream immensely, as he always does, and was even able to get a little bit on me. How does that even happen? I wasn’t even eating ice cream. I’m not sure how long it took for him to finish it but, after I wiped myself, wiped Mikes mouth, cleaned my hands, checked for drippage on the seats, gathered the garbage, walked over to the receptacle and disposed of the shrapnel, and walked back, guess who was just pulling out of his parking spot to leave with his much awaited order? Yup. He waited that whole time.

I really wanted to wave but held it back and just smiled. He looked at me briefly and then sped out of the parking lot. Ha!

Sometimes it takes care of itself.

In A Nutshell

I will attempt to get you caught up in as little time as I can. But there is a bunch of stuff I would like to talk about, just to let you know. 

  

This time I must truly apologize for neglecting my commitment to writing and posting on a regular basis. This time is different. No really. I was pretty busy. Well, maybe not all of the time but, most of the time.  The rest of the time. I guess, motivation was a bit of a factor. The reality version? I just didn’t feel like it. But the majority of the time, I was preoccupied. I am quite aware that I’ve said things like that before but, this time, there really was more of the being busy than the not feeling like it. Indulge me enough to explain.

          I’m enjoying being single again, as I have explained previously. It’s really been since, well, before November but the actual move out happened that month. Lots of changes and not just my location, but job and residence are the major ones. Lifestyle is a big change. Finding the time in a day to get everything done that you want to, is a challenge at best when working 10 to 12 hours a day. My dog Mike will always be my number one priority. I would rather live in my truck than give up my best friend. So between working, making sure Mike gets enough exercise, and everything else that needs to be done within the span of sunrise to sunset, my day is pretty full most of the time. I do, however, very much enjoy the hikes on the trails that we take regularly.

          The radio show is going well. Very well actually. I had some t-shirts and business cards made with the show logo. And yes they are very cool. Just ask anyone that has one. (Blatant Plug) I’m on the air Saturday nights from 7 pm to 10 pm (my time) on CJAI.ca 92.1 fm. Yes, you can stream it live. I think that’s why I’ve neglected writing anything for the last number of months. My concentration has been focused on the radio show. And for that I am sorry. But I love it, and for that, I’m not. I program my own show and play what I want. So it boils down to me playing music I love, and broadcasting it to anyone that will listen. I do a live video on Facebook every so often as well. You should check it out.

          I talked to my good friend Jason today. Not just a text or email, but an actual phone conversation. It felt good to hear his voice again after some time. That is something he and I need to do more often, and it really is my fault that we don’t.  

          Life is good, my health is good, and the world, well, it seems to get more fucked up as the days go on. With Justin Trudeau and Donald Trump in control of their respective countries, do you really think that your vote still counts? Vote anyway. If nothing else, it just gives them more data to alter and makes their job harder. I only say this because of the public outcry. If everybody is so pissed off, and is against everything that they stand for, then, well, who voted for them in the first place. Raise your hands proudly. Didn’t think so.

Since when did it become an offence to offend someone? Feelings get hurt? Suck it up. Why is it my problem that you have a problem with something? Deal with it. I’m not your Mom, and no, I won’t clean your room either.

          There is so much more to at least touch on, but that would take many more pages to do so within this short submission. I will endeavor to do better. Not just on this and future writings, but on everything. This I wish is everyone’s goal. It will be, and is, hard for me and for all of you. Do it anyway. Thinking inside of the box that is thrust upon you is way too easy because you are told what to think. I say this. Do not think outside of the box they hand you, but take a stick of dynamite and blow that fucker up. Create your own box and think for yourself. If nothing else, with all the fake crap being reported, do your homework, read the entire article, and just think for yourself.

          Love your life and don’t follow blindly.

What’s Up Lately

          Wow, how time flies. Things have been crazy to say the least. Let me try and give you the “Coles Notes” version of it all. Where to start seems to be the biggest issue for sure. There’s so much to tell that I’m having a problem with what to put first. I’m at a loss for words…go figure. Who’da thunk it?

          Let’s go backwards, starting with two events that happened at the same time. No kidding. Both at the same time. Geesh. How do you prepare for that? Whether I should buy a lottery ticket or not is still sequestered with the jury, and awaiting a final verdict on that one. I just wish they’d hurry the hell up.

          I feel that I must apologize if you are reading this slower than normal, but I’m writing slower than I usually do for a couple of reasons. I’m celebrating national wine day, and I’m also celebrating my new radio show having its premiere episode broadcast worldwide on the interweb. I have to tell you, if you missed it, then you missed something special. You can, however, stream it live every Saturday night at my time (Kingston, ON) 7 – 10 pm. The Saturday Night Barn Burner 92.1 FM Amherst Island Radio. Tune in if you can. I program my own show and guarantee that you will hear something that you’ve never heard before.

          As for the second item, my new job, I can honestly say that I have no opinion on the matter. It’s one of those “time will tell” kind of situations. Basically, it boils down to whether I was lied to when I was hired or not…Jury? Yeah…I got nothing yet.

          Just to clarify, it’s not the work. I can handle the workload. I expressed parameters of my work day that I could not conform to. Nothing ridiculously stupid, but I do have commitments. Made my deal breakers very clear, and so did they. I was verbally guaranteed that these were never going to be an issue. I had reiterated these deal breakers before them hiring me. My situation has not changed, let’s make this clear. The work dynamic has changed. This will affect things to say the least. Time will tell for sure. Let’s see who’s deal breaker comes first.

          Oh My God. I have my own radio show now. This is the epitome of fun, I swear. I’m on the air every Saturday night from 7 to 10 pm Eastern time on CJAI 92.1 FM. Yes you can stream it live. Just in case you miss it, my show is replayed that same night at 11 pm my time. Super stoked about this whole thing.

          My premier episode was last night (Feb 17/18) and I have to say that I had a blast. If you missed it, you can tune in to the next one. I do this weekly, definitely not weakly, on Saturday nights.

          If you have a band, are in a band, or are a solo artist that has a studio quality CD, please send it to me. I guarantee two things.

1 – I will listen to it

2 – I will do my best to pick at least 1 song to play on air.

          Please include a contact email so I can respond

The Saturday Night Barn Burner 92.1 FM

Amherst Island Radio

Enjoy.

Are You Attractive?

          It’s that time of year again where everyone you know lies to each other about how they promise to change all of the stupid shit in their lives. That’s right, I’m talking about the annual resolution portion of the program. The entire premise of the situation is rather sound, however, the follow through on the other hand, could use a little bit more commitment on everyone’s part. Mine included. That’s why I’m not going to call it that this year. A resolution it won’t be.

          The phrase “New Year’s Resolution” has become such a social joke these last number of years that it’s my belief that we need to take a step back and revisit just what the entire idea and intent is all about. Here’s my take on it all. Call me wrong, disagree, reply, applaud, even give the finger, but it’s the way I see it. Yes, that was intended. Didn’t think I needed the capital letters or quotation marks. You’re all pretty smart, and this is an easy read for you. Back to me.

Remember that this, at one time was a big deal. A resolution was as strong as a hand shake, giving your word, or a promise to a friend. These things meant something. A verbal bond to others that you truly intended to do exactly what you said. It was a vow to make yourself a better person. If it was a resolution to quit smoking, then guess what? You quit smoking. Plain and simple or you were left to suffer the public humiliation from your friends as they would ask you “how’s that quitting smoking thing going?”, while you were out having a smoke. They would laugh out loud, at you. Your trust level also dropped significantly as it revealed you as untrustworthy. These things meant something, and to some of us still do.

These days it’s been diminished to taking a look back at yourself, finding things you would change, promising to do just that, making a list of these proposed changes, then systematically eliminating them one by one as the year moves on. They either become unimportant (doesn’t matter anyway), reliant (I enjoy it too much), difficult to do, rendered stupid by friends, or become a conversational joke (“so how’s that quitting smoking thing going?”), as it was expected of you to not do them anyway. A personal proclamation for change has been rendered a social joke. Never to be taken seriously again. A sad state of affairs indeed. Unless there’s an App for that I guess.

I feel that I should ask right here if anyone is offended. Anyone? Anybody need a tissue, hug, or safe space? I can find you a cardboard box to crawl in and cry until it all goes away if you like. No? Well, fasten your chinstraps because there’s a bunch more a-comin down them rails and I aim to misbehave.

I’ve decided to look at this whole fiasco from an entirely different perspective. And I do mean different. Or fiasco. Either one works in this case. Forget the whole resolution and commercialization business, and flush it to where it now belongs.

I’m going to drift off here, but promise to bring it all back, I promise. Be patient please. This one is longer that it was in my head. Go figure.

I will go out on a limb here and state that I feel an attractive person is not based on looks. Period. Yes, there are good looking, pretty, handsome, cute people everywhere. But that’s the stereotypical television version of what attractive is. We’ve all been brainwashed over the years to think that a few talentless sisters with a Dad, who now has tits, are role models for young people all over the world. No, you really don’t want to be just like them. Give your head a shake and back up the truck right here. This image is incredibly wrong and damaging to an impressionable mind. Being an attractive person has nothing to do with how pretty you are. Or how many “likes” you have.

Let me explain one thing here. I’m writing this in my perspective as a man. Yet the points I am trying to make all work for both sexes, but I will attempt to include some of that as I go on. Please, bear with me.  

As far as I’m concerned, what makes a person attractive consist of, but is not limited to, the following things that I will suggest. I’ve probably forgotten a bunch so ease up, yet feel free to let me know what I’ve left unsaid. You will notice my progression here. Go with it. I do encourage the comments.

An open mind is a complete turn on. The ability to intently listen to a vast array of opinions from a variety of sources, legitimate or not, is not something easily learned. I truly think that it goes as deep as the genetic level. To not just listen, but understand the perspectives of others, at the same time realizing that they aren’t trying to convert you, they just see it different, and yet aren’t swayed. Attractive.

A genuine smile is a dead giveaway that you are an attractive person. Not only when it’s something overwhelming, but the little things too. Just something good. With so much false friendship, fake surprise, for whatever reason, it’s nice to see a real sign of delight on someone’s face. This is defined not only by the actual smile on their face, but also by the sparkle in their eye that lights up their entire persona. Their entire being becomes elated and radiates that very feeling upon you. We’ve all seen it before. I need not explain further. Amazing.

How you treat others is a big one. How you think and feel about people can be a total negative or a positive in your attractiveness index. Yup, it’s become an index now. Evolution at its best. Treat the Janitor the same as the Prime Minister. They are both people deserving of your attention. Not one more than the other. They are both equal. The amount of money you have or your position in life should not dictate the level of respect you receive. You are a person and they are as well. If you can ingrain this in your heart, then, guess what? You just made the list.

A mind is a terrible thing to waste, yet too many people choose to do so. You need not be a Rhodes Scholar, but having a resemblance of a brain in your head is most definitely a plus. Thinking for yourself is a clear indicator. Actually having an independent thought is encouraged around these here parts. Having an opinion that isn’t either given to you by others, or something you just read on Crackbook, is not only encouraged, but a prerequisite for qualification. If you have ever said “these buffalo wings taste like chicken”, then you are in need of an upgrade.

Respect for property that does not belong to you is a definite thumbs up in my book. Treat it like it belongs to you is something more people need to adopt. If you borrow something, return it in the same shape or in better shape than when you got it. Make sure it’s clean for shit sake. It’s become too easy to break things then just say sorry without any intent of compensation. You break it, replace it. Plain and simple. Don’t just say you will then hope that they forget you said that. Keeping your word is a big heart opener. Also an important factor in keeping friends with…well…anyone with a mind of their own.

So in closing I must say these few words. Resolution schmesolution.

Do you feel that you are an attractive person?

Can you become more attractive? Would you want to?

Do you think that doing so, may silently encourage others to want to (be more like you) as well?

Happy Fricken New Year.

Not My Issue

          So much has happened in a short period of time that I’ve been too caught up in the happenings to realize that I need to stop and look around every once in a while. Well, I’m doing that now and I have to say that you all look as fabulous as ever, if not better. Except for that one guy in the very back. Dude, really?

          I’ve been concentrating on writing other things this past while. Nope, not telling. At least not yet anyway. My hope is to have it turn out, at the very least, half as good as it sounds in my head. Let’s just see how it plays out first. I certainly don’t want to get your hopes up just to yank the rug out from under you. I may just fall flat on my face. Either way, there will be a big laugh or two.

          Speaking of self-deprecation, not that I was anyway, a funny thing happened the other day. I was talking with a close friend, in public, the other day and the conversation strayed just a wee bit as it tends to with us. Now, let me preface this by saying that I was aware of all of the stupidity of people, with their involvement in not only things that they know nothing about, but also things that do not concern them in any way whatsoever. That being said, here’s the deal.

          As I mentioned previously, it was self-deprecating. The jokes and comments were going back and forth, as they tend to, with an escalation of jabs at each other, as they should be, with each feeding off of the previous one, as is life. All in good fun. Anyone with even a miniscule sense of humour would find this shit funny. All of this without any profanity. I swear to God. Not one swear word whatsoever. Although there was plenty of opportunity to litter the conversation with a wide variety of choice expletives, we abstained.

          As it turns out, from our banter, we offended a few people. And, wouldn’t you know it, they made a point of telling us so. It turns out, five people were offended, and two women covered their kid’s ears. Seriously?

One woman actually walked over from across the aisle to voice her disgust. I truly don’t think that she could hear everything that was said, but just wanted to get in on the complaint. I was looking for the token cell phone videographer as the scene she was creating seemed to be more important than the point she was trying to make.

          Just how unimportant have we become, for fear of offending someone. I say fuck-em. You being offended is not my issue, it’s yours. You deal with it. Why should I have to endure a suck-hole problem that isn’t mine? Keep your peanut allergy, diabetic crybaby away from my lunch, because, today I have PB&J sandwiches. (I’m diabetic, by the way)

I’m not going to breath on you, rub it on you, chase you around the room with it, or throw it at you just to see you react. That would be cruel. But it’s my lunch and you have no say in the matter. Deal with your issue or just stay away. Simple.