Are You Attractive?

          It’s that time of year again where everyone you know lies to each other about how they promise to change all of the stupid shit in their lives. That’s right, I’m talking about the annual resolution portion of the program. The entire premise of the situation is rather sound, however, the follow through on the other hand, could use a little bit more commitment on everyone’s part. Mine included. That’s why I’m not going to call it that this year. A resolution it won’t be.

          The phrase “New Year’s Resolution” has become such a social joke these last number of years that it’s my belief that we need to take a step back and revisit just what the entire idea and intent is all about. Here’s my take on it all. Call me wrong, disagree, reply, applaud, even give the finger, but it’s the way I see it. Yes, that was intended. Didn’t think I needed the capital letters or quotation marks. You’re all pretty smart, and this is an easy read for you. Back to me.

Remember that this, at one time was a big deal. A resolution was as strong as a hand shake, giving your word, or a promise to a friend. These things meant something. A verbal bond to others that you truly intended to do exactly what you said. It was a vow to make yourself a better person. If it was a resolution to quit smoking, then guess what? You quit smoking. Plain and simple or you were left to suffer the public humiliation from your friends as they would ask you “how’s that quitting smoking thing going?”, while you were out having a smoke. They would laugh out loud, at you. Your trust level also dropped significantly as it revealed you as untrustworthy. These things meant something, and to some of us still do.

These days it’s been diminished to taking a look back at yourself, finding things you would change, promising to do just that, making a list of these proposed changes, then systematically eliminating them one by one as the year moves on. They either become unimportant (doesn’t matter anyway), reliant (I enjoy it too much), difficult to do, rendered stupid by friends, or become a conversational joke (“so how’s that quitting smoking thing going?”), as it was expected of you to not do them anyway. A personal proclamation for change has been rendered a social joke. Never to be taken seriously again. A sad state of affairs indeed. Unless there’s an App for that I guess.

I feel that I should ask right here if anyone is offended. Anyone? Anybody need a tissue, hug, or safe space? I can find you a cardboard box to crawl in and cry until it all goes away if you like. No? Well, fasten your chinstraps because there’s a bunch more a-comin down them rails and I aim to misbehave.

I’ve decided to look at this whole fiasco from an entirely different perspective. And I do mean different. Or fiasco. Either one works in this case. Forget the whole resolution and commercialization business, and flush it to where it now belongs.

I’m going to drift off here, but promise to bring it all back, I promise. Be patient please. This one is longer that it was in my head. Go figure.

I will go out on a limb here and state that I feel an attractive person is not based on looks. Period. Yes, there are good looking, pretty, handsome, cute people everywhere. But that’s the stereotypical television version of what attractive is. We’ve all been brainwashed over the years to think that a few talentless sisters with a Dad, who now has tits, are role models for young people all over the world. No, you really don’t want to be just like them. Give your head a shake and back up the truck right here. This image is incredibly wrong and damaging to an impressionable mind. Being an attractive person has nothing to do with how pretty you are. Or how many “likes” you have.

Let me explain one thing here. I’m writing this in my perspective as a man. Yet the points I am trying to make all work for both sexes, but I will attempt to include some of that as I go on. Please, bear with me.  

As far as I’m concerned, what makes a person attractive consist of, but is not limited to, the following things that I will suggest. I’ve probably forgotten a bunch so ease up, yet feel free to let me know what I’ve left unsaid. You will notice my progression here. Go with it. I do encourage the comments.

An open mind is a complete turn on. The ability to intently listen to a vast array of opinions from a variety of sources, legitimate or not, is not something easily learned. I truly think that it goes as deep as the genetic level. To not just listen, but understand the perspectives of others, at the same time realizing that they aren’t trying to convert you, they just see it different, and yet aren’t swayed. Attractive.

A genuine smile is a dead giveaway that you are an attractive person. Not only when it’s something overwhelming, but the little things too. Just something good. With so much false friendship, fake surprise, for whatever reason, it’s nice to see a real sign of delight on someone’s face. This is defined not only by the actual smile on their face, but also by the sparkle in their eye that lights up their entire persona. Their entire being becomes elated and radiates that very feeling upon you. We’ve all seen it before. I need not explain further. Amazing.

How you treat others is a big one. How you think and feel about people can be a total negative or a positive in your attractiveness index. Yup, it’s become an index now. Evolution at its best. Treat the Janitor the same as the Prime Minister. They are both people deserving of your attention. Not one more than the other. They are both equal. The amount of money you have or your position in life should not dictate the level of respect you receive. You are a person and they are as well. If you can ingrain this in your heart, then, guess what? You just made the list.

A mind is a terrible thing to waste, yet too many people choose to do so. You need not be a Rhodes Scholar, but having a resemblance of a brain in your head is most definitely a plus. Thinking for yourself is a clear indicator. Actually having an independent thought is encouraged around these here parts. Having an opinion that isn’t either given to you by others, or something you just read on Crackbook, is not only encouraged, but a prerequisite for qualification. If you have ever said “these buffalo wings taste like chicken”, then you are in need of an upgrade.

Respect for property that does not belong to you is a definite thumbs up in my book. Treat it like it belongs to you is something more people need to adopt. If you borrow something, return it in the same shape or in better shape than when you got it. Make sure it’s clean for shit sake. It’s become too easy to break things then just say sorry without any intent of compensation. You break it, replace it. Plain and simple. Don’t just say you will then hope that they forget you said that. Keeping your word is a big heart opener. Also an important factor in keeping friends with…well…anyone with a mind of their own.

So in closing I must say these few words. Resolution schmesolution.

Do you feel that you are an attractive person?

Can you become more attractive? Would you want to?

Do you think that doing so, may silently encourage others to want to (be more like you) as well?

Happy Fricken New Year.