Shorts

          Seeing as it’s been a month since my last entry I figured I would submit a few smaller occurrences contained in one post. Most of these are not page worthy in my opinion, but I may be wrong. I have been before. You be the judge. I like to call them quick quips, and may revisit that as a title at a later date so pay attention. There may be a test later.

          I bet you thought that this was going to be another rant about what people are wearing these days. Wrong.

          Let’s jump right in shall we?

          I saw an advert for a television show about this family that had eighteen kids. Oh…My…God…Eighteen kids? Eighteen? Are you kidding me? What does this guy do for a living that they can afford eighteen children?

          Immediate questions that come to mind come streaming to my brain.

          How big is the house? Does each child have their own room or do they stack them to save space?

          How tired of this crap is his wife really?

          Do they have cable T.V.? If not, that may explain the eighteen kids.

          Whatever the reason, stop already. Thanks.

I was at a fast food establishment and noticed a small pickup truck in the parking lot. You know the kind. The trucks produced with the false intent to do the same job as a real truck but with better gas economy. I call them mini trucks. The ones that come with a 4 cylinder motor and claim to haul a half ton load.

Anyway, this truck had a decal on the back window in six inch tall letters that said “No Fat Chicks”. So I waited to see what the owner of the truck looked like. You would too, don’t lie.

As it turns out he was a rather large gentleman. He appeared to weigh about three hundred pounds if he was an ounce. I am underestimating to be polite of course. I watched him shoehorn himself into this vehicle which seemed carnival-like the longer I looked.

Two questions came to mind. Recalling the decal on the rear window I’m puzzled.

Is he worried about the gross vehicle overload from another person in the cab of the truck because he is fat?

Or

Is he worried that there may not be enough room for another person in the cab of the truck because he’s so huge?

I’m sorry Bobby, but it’s spelled “chamomile” pronounced camo-meal.

It does not mean a dehydrated food survival packet that you take with you hunting. But you may be on to something there.

I was watching a hockey game where the defenceman blocked a shot headed for the goal. He took the shot on the side of the knee area where there isn’t much padding. Needless to say he went down.

The announcer stated aloud that “he went down slowly and deliberately”. Seriously? He dropped like a sack of wet cement. Nothing slow or deliberate about it. Are we watching the same game? It’s not like he had time to ask his teammates “can you help me down”.

Until next time.