Slow and Slower

It is a well known fact that people become slower with age. Well known by me if not everyone else either my age or within a close proximity. This speed reduction, for some unknown reason, apparently affects just about everything you do. For some of these chosen people this even includes some things like driving. I’m still not convinced that these ones really knew how to drive in the first place or just plummeted into their snail pace quicker than the rest.

That said I must swiftly make a dash for a little disclaimer here. I’m not attempting to pick on or single out elderly people with regard to being slow. It’s just that this particular observance happens to be perpetrated by a couple of them. That’s it. You will, however, have your own personal mental image to recall while reading this. Everyone has at least one.

Now let’s get onto the part about me driving behind an elderly person in a parking lot. You can in no possible way be in a hurry in this situation. They don’t seem to notice you’re there anyway. Just be patient and they’ll find a parking spot soon enough. It may not be soon, but eventually.

Let me add a bit of a twist to this. Driving behind an elderly person looking for a parking spot in a parking lot, who is also driving behind an elderly person looking for a parking spot in a parking lot, is a rather unique situation indeed, as I found out recently. The trick is to just drop back a little and watch what happens next.

It all seems to happen in slow motion, yet somehow isn’t, as the slow moving person in front of you gets angered and frustrated at the even slower moving person in front of them. All Hell breaks loose when it appears that they both seem to want the same parking spot. A barrage of dirty looks begins to be hurled back and forth from half open car windows in a tit for tat exhibition of facial expression. The raised fists then begin shaking along with evident arm flab that appears to shake twice as much as the fist. Horns are honking as if it were downtown rush hour traffic.

The slow person in the very front actually slows down to begin their navigation into the sought after spot, which heightens the frustration of the other slow person behind them. This unleashes another taste of horn honking. I have unknowingly come to a complete halt to witness this and find it so entertaining to watch that I look around for somewhere to get snacks.

Now with the first vehicle parked crookedly in place, the irate driver in the second vehicle stops behind them for a moment only to give another fist wag, horn honk and the sternest hairy eyeball look I have ever seen from any person of any age before driving away, slowly.

That over and done with I then realize that I am now the one in the way. Having been stopped in the middle of the parking aisle to observe, I failed to even look behind to see if there were any other cars looking to get past me. Luckily there was not and sadly there was not as well. This is where it’s always funny to share a silent laugh with a total stranger who feels as entertained as I do about this ordeal.