Take That Back

While I was in and out of stores over the last week doing the usual needed gathering of supplies I stumbled across an item that I don’t need in any way whatsoever. Yet it seemed to call to me. Setting aside all reason I buy it and bring it home as my latest “coolest thing ever” addition to all the other coolest things ever collection I have acquired.

I take it home and open up the packaging, set it up, insert batteries, use it for a little while. And it performs as expected, better even. I am completely thrilled and demonstratively proud of my amazing new find. I may even have done my own little happy dance. My happy dance varies depending on the situation and is never the same twice. It’s just happy and that’s all that really matters.

So now it’s been a couple of days since this purchase and I am at a different store looking for something I had totally forgotten to pick up on the previous outing, when all of a sudden, I see it with my own eyes. The exact same thing I was so excited about, only $40 cheaper that what I had paid. Like a slap in the face I exclaim aloud to nobody in particular “WTF” while standing in the aisle pointing. I may have even looked around for imaginary support but came up with none. Only puzzled stares from fellow shoppers that seemed to question my sanity.

Product return scenarios race through my brain on how I can bring back the one I have. Do they even price match? If not should I pretend it’s broken? Yes I have all of the original packaging so they better take it back or I’ll never shop there again, but I know I will anyway because they always have cool stuff. And what happens if I’m stuck with it? I know if I am, I won’t treat it with the same coolness after finding out that a cheaper one could have been had. I will end up lying to people about how much I paid for it. You would too.

Now I return home breaking all speed limits, wipe down the item, carefully box it back up being careful not to blemish any of the outer cardboard, and then inspect the job. Convinced that they should take it back without incident I return to my point of purchase and march myself straight to the returns counter. 

The first question I ask is the obvious “What is your price match guaranty?” only to be answered with the surprise answer “Very sorry sir, we don’t have one”.

Feeling a little deflated I happen to look on the wall behind the counter and see their satisfaction guarantee and return policy posted on the wall which boldly states for all to read clearly and without further question “We’re not satisfied until you’re satisfied”. Holy crap this applies. I’m not satisfied. I found it cheaper somewhere else. This falls under their policy.

“I would like to return this because I found it cheaper someplace else”.

My return is then handled with such unexpected courtesy and accommodation that I just stand there and observe the transaction until the store employee asks me where the cheaper one is because they think that it the coolest thing ever as well and were thinking of buying one.

So it’s not just me.