It Really Is Better. And Fun Too.

            Pretty much every grocery store that you go into is laid out the same. If not exactly the same, then it’s pretty close. I mean, when you first walk into the place, the produce section is usually just inside the main entrance and a bit and off to the right. Either that or it’s the first department you see right past any impulse displays that happen to be creating a bevy of savings that must be had by all. Just like the meat department is usually along the back wall and more towards the middle, the set up is pretty close no matter where you go.

            Like every shopper in the world, smart or not, I always notice what items are on sale this week. When it’s something on my list that just happens to be on sale it feels like  I was just given a bonus. When it’s something not on my list that I really like but do not buy regularly because it is usually high-priced, now on sale, it’s like I have just turned into a six year old on Christmas morning. Well not really but it is pretty exciting so I grab two.

            Cooking them is not like other stuff. You don’t just hose it off and throw it into a pot of water. No, no, no, no. The preparation is all part of the ordeal. After all, I did just navigate myself all the way to the grocery store alone, made it through the labyrinth of impulse displays and end caps without having to leave a trail of breadcrumbs, and waited, like, for-everrr behind the blue haired older woman who insisted on paying with the change she had been collecting in a jar since 1973. And after all that, I still managed to make the trek back to my vehicle while risking life and limb dodging moving cars and trucks in a busy parking lot with not only a grocery laden shopping cart, noooo. That would have been too easy. It was a grocery laden shopping cart with a funky wheel. Now after all of that I just can’t go and throw them in a pot of water all willy-nilly like.

            So I made it home alive, again, unharmed for the most part. I will, however, suffer the next couple of nights with dreams of counting spare change in a very hot and flame riddled place deep in an unmentionable abyss.

            The preparation is as important to the procedure as the cooking. If you don’t pay close attention, well then, you’re doing it wrong. One thing you need to remember is that this is the only item that I’m aware of in that entire grocery department that will quite literally show you where the perfect spot is to trim off the undesirable portion of itself. It’s pretty cool once you try it.

            Now trimmed and rinsed off I place them into a steamer, not a pot of water. The water just boils away all of the flavour. Do not put them in a pot of water, k? Turn the steamer on and let them steam for about five to ten minutes depending on their thickness. I like mine to remain a little bit crunchy on the inside so trial and error is the only way to perfect this. Trust me, you will thank me later. I mean thank me quietly, or not, it’s all good.

            The whole point of this is just to be able to let you know one thing if you don’t know it already. If you do know it you will be nodding your head with a smile. If you don’t know it, you will definitely try it the net time. Ready?

            When cooked to perfection, dripping with butter and lightly salted, asparagus just tastes a whole lot better when you eat it with your fingers.

            You’re picturing it right now aren’t you?

Nothing To Do

          With a day off of work in the middle of the week and no plans to even leave the house, what does one find to write about? It’s all about things that make you feel better inside or make someone else feel better inside. So today I have decided to turn off the magic picture box, pry my fat ass off of the couch, and accomplish something at home. Now, I can say “fat ass” because my shape is closer to round than in-line, more of an oval really, a thin oval, really.

            As the beautiful and intelligent love of my life would say, “there is always something that needs doing”. Yes dear. So I start with devising a plan of where to start which begins with flying my remote controlled helicopter for a little while to help me think. No dear, I did not hit the plant….very hard…...again.  

Now that I have a plan I realize that my prioritizing is all wrong. So, one more flight around the living room, through the kitchen, crash on the stairs, upright the craft, fly back to the living room and execute the perfect soft landing on the coffee table. Well almost.

All kidding aside, it can be as simple as taking something out and preparing supper, doing dishes and tidying up the kitchen and maybe even fold up some laundry. Does not seem like much but you will be surprised at how much better you feel about accomplishing something rather than sitting on your fat ass watching television.

            The best part of this is when your significant other gets home from work and sees that they do not have to participate in anything for the rest of the evening but relax after a busy day at work. Believe me, you can see it in their expressions, and passing this feeling on to someone else elevates your mood and lets you know that your actions today made someone else’s day a little brighter. No better feeling in the world.

Learn To Keep Your Mouth Shut

Keeping my mouth shut when you feel an opinion building to the point of it wanting burst out of you is indeed an art form. A rather difficult art form to master. When something happens at my place of employment it makes it all the more difficult. When I feel an injustice has been perpetrated, the easiest thing to do is tramp myself into the office and give someone a piece of my mind over it. Depending on the severity of the situation this urge can easily over power my conscious thought to the point of not having any.

Just such an occurrence happened recently. Feeling wrongfully done by, I was completely prepared to go head on into that very brick wall until I stopped myself. This takes practice folks. Lots and lots of practice believe me. Almost all of the time rational thought is not an option only because there isn’t any at the time. You need to remind yourself of what transpired the last time you did this kind of thing. Not just at work but anywhere you have had an overwhelming opinion wanting to escape without you noticing. I will escape you like an unseen prisoner going for the wall, up and over, before you realize it, gone, out there, free. Not always a good place for these kinds of opinions to be.

This time however I remained silent and let it go just to see how it may further play out. Keep in mind that this is one of the most difficult things that a human being will attempt. It’s the ultimate test of any person’s willpower and self-control. It grates on you throughout the day no matter what you read, music you listen to or other people you talk to, it will remain at the forefront of your mind.

As it turns out the situation worked out in my favour in the end. Later in the day and totally unrelated, I was offered an opportunity for advancement in my position from my employer. An opportunity that I would probably not have had time, nor resources for, had this so called injustice to me not happened.

Looking back on the day I truly feel that this offer may very well not have happened at all.  Learn to keep your mouth shut. Good things can happen.

New Medicine?

Are people getting sick more often or is the media just publicizing it more these days? It’s hard to say for sure. From the amount of new miracle drugs appearing on television it would seem that society is doomed without the aid of products being offered.

It would seem that the medication your doctor had prescribed for you is not doing a good enough job apparently, and all of this new stuff will make you live as if you didn't suffer at all. You can play outside, breathe easier, go sailing, swimming, ride horseback, run around with toddlers, even run around outside with swimming toddlers while riding a horse without losing your breath. So then why has my doctor not informed me of this wondrous new pill? The people in the commercial do not look as if they are suffering like the rest of us who seem to be going about it all wrong.

Like a slap in the face they begin to list the possible side effects that you may experience.  Holy crap! Nausea, vomiting, night sweats, day sweats, swelling of the hands (hot dog fingers?), blurred vision, intestinal bleeding (I wonder where that exits the body), hair loss, increased thoughts of suicide (everything that you need in an anti-depressant) just to name a few.

Then there’s the kicker at the end. It is not intended to replace your regular medication? Seriously? Thank God because it sounds like it will make me feel worse and not be able to do all of those fun things in life that I apparently have been missing out on.

Is this supposed to make me feel better? So what is the point exactly?