Five Years

          Today was a momentous occasion in the calendar of events that record the contraventions and decisive moments of my so called life. Today was just a tad more special than the rest. And believe me, I’ve had my fair share of exceptional events. Just wait until I finish writing my book. You’ll need a helmet and a neck brace just to read it. What a great idea! Alert the marketing department.

          I had one of my update appointments at the Cancer center here today. A most important update appointment at that. This was my fifth year post treatment appointment. My “Five Year All Clear” appointment, if you will. And yes, it certainly does not feel as if it has been that long. Holy crap, where has the time gone. It goes by so fast.

          I went through the regular drill of being poked and prodded as well as the good old video scope being inserted slowly into one nostril ( I always get asked if I prefer left or right, a nice courtesy) and endure the slow decent of the camera. After so many times of having a tube stuffed down your nose that is a camera, one learns, and is constantly told, how to breathe correctly to help avoid the gag reflex that occurs the entire time. Breathe heavily through your mouth. The speed of decent most definitely impacts the gag reflex as well. You repeatedly attempt to ask the inserter to speed up the process. Slow is not a pleasant experience. I know this first hand. It involves gagging, coughing, grabbing the scope, ripping it from your nose, tears, and reaching for Kleenex. And yes, that is experience talking. Certainly not an Instagram moment for me.

          Unless you are a queasy person in any capacity whatsoever, you can request to have the doctor rotate the video screen towards you so you can witness the intrusion of your nasal cavity first hand. I must say that this is an interesting view for sure. If you have the unfortunate medical advantage to view anything via medical camera that has been inserted into you, anywhere, through any body cavity, or incision, do it. For no other reason than to see what they see. Never be afraid to ask questions either. I like looking because it’s cool as shit. This is video of what is inside of you. But I digress.

          My appointment was all about kicking me out. And I have never looked forward to being kicked out of anything. But this was the best reason ever, because if I passed, that means I need never come back. A club expulsion I welcome.

          I met with my Radiation Doctor and Head and Neck Surgeon with a tremendously positive result. The best anyone could have possibly hoped for. I was elated to say the least. I am now looking as to when I will open the 25 year old bottle of single malt scotch that I have been saving for the last 4 and a half years. I have a couple of people that need to be involved in this opening. They went thorough as much if not more than I did. There will be photos.

My deepest thanks to the doctors and staff of the Chemo and Radiation departments at the Kingston General Hospital Cancer Center, who I have thanked personally, and hugged each of them. I will be forever in your debt, for the rest of my life, literally.

I AM BECAUSE OF YOU. THANK YOU

Beans And Cat Shit

          Like most people, I too, enjoy a good cup of coffee from time to time. I mean a good quality cup of coffee that you can take your time and savour. The truly satisfying taste that you just don’t get from that mass produced mud powder that they force feed us, and usually comes in a big can. Oh my god this sounds like a television commercial.

          Also like most people I have been in the habit of making a pot of mud in the mornings before I go to work. I don’t always get to sit and enjoy a complete mug of the stuff, but I do slurp back the majority of a serving whilst going through my morning routine. The number one item, if I feel like it, happens the night before. Without this seemingly insignificant chore, my entire morning can be thrown completely off kilter. This would be the setting up of said coffee machine itself. You know the drill, right? Add the water, new filter, and coffee, in the correct proportions to the machine so it will be ready to go first thing. All I need to do is hit the switch, push the button, or however you say it, and we’re good to go. No I’m a cheap ass. I do not have one with a timer, or alarm, or auto shut off, or a clock, or circus cannon, or safety net. Two settings. “On” and “Off”. Old school baby.

          I don’t need a timer on my coffee machine. It’s a coffee machine dammit. I think I can reach over and turn it on in less than a half second without causing a major inconvenience to myself while exiting my abode to take The Wonderdog out for his first morning run for about a half an hour. He gets two outings before I leave for work. Besides, all of the varieties of machines end up with the same result. They dump boiling hot water over ground up bean powder to create flavoured dark brown water. Yes I know, yours is different right? I have had a number of different styles, shapes, colours, functions, settings, automations, pods, timers, and pot size to come to this conclusion. It’s a fricken coffee machine. Mine was $20 and works fine. I don’t need to spend around $100 for one just because it has lights and a siren. I could buy five like mine for that price.

          From time to time I do get a hankering for an enjoyable cup of Joe. The quality stuff you can’t find in the grocery isle, no sir. I like to go to one of those specialty shops in town that roast their own beans and create some utterly magnificent aromatic sensation of medium to dark roasts with a wondrous variety of flavours and blends. The kind of place that can commandeer your entire aroma detector with the generous redolence of ground coffee and fresh baked goods, so substantial that you may even salivate just a little. You may even be doing it right now.

I am fortunate to have a few of them not far away, and within a reasonable proximity of walking distance to each other. You usually pay a premium price for the good stuff but, most of the time it’s worth it. The fun part is trying the things you have never had before. Most of these places have some select flavours for you to sample. They’re usually different flavours from day to day.

          I am, by no means, a coffee expert or connoisseur. Not even close. I’ve never researched regions, or climates, atmospheric pressures, soil densities, or the type of cat that shit out the beans. I know what tastes good to me and that’s all I’m concerned with. Except for the cat. I’m still on the fence on whether I’d drink cat shit coffee or not. I do know that I will never pay the astronomical price that they’re asking. Last I checked it was over $400 a pound. Now if someone were to outright offer me a cup of Kopi Luwak to try, I would probably oblige just to see what all of the fuss was about. Who wouldn’t?

          Getting back to it here, I always try to use a coffee press when making the quality grinds at home. These are often mistakenly called a Bodem. However Bodem is a brand or company name that has become the defining word to describe a French coffee press. Much like Crock-Pot, Jacuzzi, Chap Stick, Zamboni, Kleenex, Band Aid, and the like. You get the idea. The point is that you don’t want to just run water through a mud machine for the good stuff. And believe me, it truly is worth it. Read the instructions for the type of coffee press you will purchase. They do vary slightly and it’s important to make sure you’re doing it right for obvious reasons.

Sometimes the trick is to have your own coffee grinder so you can experiment with making your own blends. You just need a few different flavour roasts kicking around. Find that unique flavour that is all your own. You’ll be happy you did.