I can
honestly say, without embellishment, exaggeration, or lie of any kind, that I never
thought that I would live this long. Mostly based on medical history, but not eliminating
other determining factors, that I will elaborate later, I really should be dead
already. And upon reflection, I’m am both surprised, and yet relieved at the
same time.
In my younger
years I used to tell people, when they asked why I risked myself doing something,
or why I wanted to do something, the answer was usually the same. “What
difference does it make? I’ll be dead by the time I’m fifty-five anyway. I may
as well have fun”. And not only meant it, but lived it as well.
The adventures
that took place in my youth were of epic proportions. So much so that a few
close friends remarked on numerous occasions that I should write a book. Years ago
I actually started one, but being my own worst critic, I thought it sounded
like a modern Jack Kerouac rip off and never followed up with it after the
first few chapters. And those pages have been long lost. Who knows, maybe I’ll
start over someday soon. One book at a time. Yes, I have something else in the
works and there are certain people, some that are no longer in my life will be rather unhappy. Ahhh, to be a fly on the wall that day.
I’m not going
to go into any great ramblings about all of this right now. Sorry if this
leaves you hanging, but there are too many pages of detail that need to be
explained to be able to portray the epicness (yes it’s a word, trust me) of
what really happened. Maybe I should write a book! Whataya think?
The list of
injuries alone should be some form of insight to the amount of fun that was had.
I know that I’ll be forgetting some of them, and like everything else, and as
everyone has done multiple times, remember after the fact.
Remember that
this is not in any particular alphabetical, geographical, chronological, nor anatomic
order. It’s just me jogging my Swiss cheese memory on New Year’s Eve while
drinking a bottle 2016 vintage Tragically Hip, Fully Completely Grand Reserve
Red wine. So bear with me. And…no I was not in an accident that caused multiple
injuries. These are all independent of each other so check your “holy shit”
meter right about now. Go ahead. I’ll wait.
Cracked ribs
(2) right side, broken nose (3 different times), torn right bicep muscle,
cracked skull (above left eyebrow) broken rib left side, dislocated left
shoulder, blow-out fracture of left orbital bone, broken collar bone, torn left
bicep muscle (different time than the right side), 49 total stitches in my face
alone (33 at one time), 4 stitches in right eyeball, 3 broken fingers ( at
different times), fractured left tibia, stabbed in right shoulder, shot at a
few times (never shot), 4 surgeries (at different times for different things), pneumonia
twice (separate occasions), and let’s not forget that whole Cancer business
just over four and a half years ago just to include everything. Like I said
earlier, I know I’m leaving some things out.
I would never trade any of those past
experiences for anything in the world. Nor would I ever in my wildest dreams
attempt to revisit that life or events. This nostalgic reunion would most definitely
have a pine box outcome. I cherish many memories from that long past time in my
life, and often smile when reminiscing.
I’m sharing this only because I’m
looking back on a bunch of things including this past year. I realize that I have
accomplished absolutely nothing in 2018 save my radio show. Other than that, I have
quite honestly, floated through the year, and it’s my own damned fault. Sure I had
plenty of ideas and opportunity to follow them through, but didn’t. The sad
part is that I knew it all along. I knew I was putting things off and yet still
accomplished nothing.
So in thinking that I have
completely wasted a year of my life I have concluded this. No I’m not going to
spew a bunch of resolution bullshit so calm down. I say only this. This coming
year will be a lot different. How different is up to me. I have no idea what to
expect which leaves it wide open to anything.
For a guy that should be dead
already, this is overtime.
